Some of the Very Best SPAM-ku
Not every SPAM-ku can be brilliant, but here are some of the very best the LHHS SPAM-ku Archive has to offer, as chosen by the editor and appointed S.H.A.M. apparent, Mr. David V. Montoya. Enjoy!
4.
The pedal six-four
Sometimes falls on a weak beat.
SPAM falls on my plate.
- Irene Meyers
5.
The pedal six-four
Gives you quite an odd feeling,
Much akin to SPAM.
- A. J. Frick
7.
There once was a man
Who ate the world’s store of SPAM.
Died at twenty-eight.
- Max Snodgrass
11.
SPAM-ku book goes lost.
Wretched accused will be caught.
They must surely die!
- Mr. David V. Montoya
12.
Teacher says, “Hail SPAM”
While students say, “Oh my gosh,
Put that book away!”
- Meagan Lambros
21.
As we read SPAM-ku,
He writes SPAM party invites.
They’re now in the trash.
- Sharlene Gutierrez
26. (written on back of a potty pass)
Oh, beloved SPAM.
You are in my stomach now,
Soon to be SPAM-poo.
- Samantha Varela
29.
SPAM-ku is so fine.
It’s better than calculus
Because there’s bongos.
- Paul Lubliner & Justin Hanley
31.
Do re mi fa sol
SPAM-ku makes me want to sing!
Fa la la la SPAM
- Katie Stein & Rachel Dunford
36.
SPAM, sweet SPAM of mine!
I pledge allegiance to SPAM.
SPAM, my hero SPAM!
- Mr. Phil Wightman
37.
Pig looks at SPAM can.
He says, “Join me SPAMwalker.
I am your father.”
- Eric Halsig
51.
I’m a Samantha.
No longer as Sam I am
For now, I am SPAM.
- Youn Kang & Sam Varela
54.
SPAM ist mein Leibe.
SPAM ist mein Lieblingsesser.
SPAM ist der Beste.
- Jonathan Hughes
67.
Oh SPAM I love you!
I want to regurgitate
To taste you once more.
- Allysa Campbell & Amanda Bickel
76.
Michelangelo
Finger to finger passes
SPAM: divine delight.
- Justin Hanley & Paul Riggins
85.
Choir loves the SPAM.
Sing it, smell it, taste and love.
Admire its beauty.
- Jessica Cohen & Emily Zubiri
90.
I am very sure
If Jesus was not a Jew
He would love SPAM too.
- Nicky Rehnberg
94.
Riddle me this SPAM. . .
Do you want to die today?
Too late to think; yum!
- Rebecca Gutierrez
102.
SPAM SPAM. SPAM SPAM SPAM?
SPAM SPAM SPAM, SPAM SPAM, SPAM SPAM.
SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM. SPAM!
- Drake Detrich
103.
Attend SPAM Habra.
SPAMish, SPAMamatics too!
Sing with SPAM-toya.
- Rebecca Gutierrez, Emily Zubiri, & Grayson Ballasteros
107.
SPAM is like a song’s
Perfect Authentic Cadence.
It always pleases.
- E. Aguirre & A. Green
109.
Leading tones go up.
Dominant Sevenths go down.
SPAM goes in tummy.
- Michael Ohno
111.
This SPAM is too hot.
This SPAM is way, way too cold.
This SPAM is juuuuuuust right.
- Michael Ohno
113.
To me SPAM is G.
It’s the dominant of C.
Sizzle, tasty, YUM!
- David Lubliner & Alexis Pereda
114.
Do you hear the SPAM?
Overtonally awesome!
Harmony with SPAM.
- D. Lubliner & A. Pereda
120.
Interstate fifteen
Any Seven – Eleven
A SPAM snack awaits
- Mr. Bruce Crocker
126.
SPAM, music, combined.
Circle of SPAM and SPAM scales.
That is SPAMtastic!
- B. Hebert & S. Jeong
129.
Our eyes met at work
Stocking the shelves at Wal-Mart.
Love at first sizzle.
- A.J. Armas & Nicky Rehnberg
136.
SPAM sincerity
is impressed deep in the heart. . .
Expressed in SPAM-ku
- Mr. David V. Montoya
142.
Maps is SPAM backwards.
Though why we care, I know not.
Doog yrev si maps.
- Greg Phillips
152.
I sit in my room,
The scent of SPAM creeping in,
DOWN TO THE KITCHEN!!!
- Knighthawk Boyd
154.
Sizzle sizzle pop
Vein-clogging scent fills the room.
Must be choir SPAM day.
- Natalia Zamora
157.
SPAM virginity
Lost for all eternity
Lies in piggy’s hands.
- Emily Zubiri
160.
Waikiki Sunset
Colored uke, sacred fried SPAM
Upon its rice bed
- Mr. Bruce Crocker
162.
SPAM so freaking fine!
That’s why I’m wasting my time
on trying to rhyme!
- Maida Garcia & Krista Bravo
172.
SPAM-a-doodle-doo
In the zoo where the pigs poo
SPAM I wish to chew
- Kelly Knowles, Julie Marines & Ashley Wisniewski
177.
I dreamt about you
O SPAM, come here my darling
Bring joy to my mouth
- Sarah Hwang
181.
Do re mi fa SPAM
SPAM is the dominant note
It’s the 3rd partial.
- Kim Mecate & Cynthia Navarro
190.
even those of smarts
and intellectual homes
are humbled by SPAM
- Greg Phillips
192.
SPAM in A minor.
But which one is it? Wo-ho!
No really. . .which one?
- Josh Logier, (but mainly) Jacob Darling
199.
Huge SPAM thunderstorm!
Many pink blobs from the sky,
All mouths are open.
- Ashley Wisniewski
202.
Although pigs can’t fly
They can be thoroughly fried.
SPAM eaten, not tried.
- Matthew Muñoz
203.
Choir listening list:
“Have you ever seen the SPAM?”
“Let’s go to the SPAM.”
- Jennifer Shedden & Nate Carey
206. “Opposites Attract”
Two star-crossed lovers
SPAMio ant tofu-et
True love at first bite
- Nathan Fernandez
210.
SPAM uke camp breakfast
The first good food all weekend
Maple syruped SPAM
- Jennifer Shedden
213.
Mayan Prophecy:
In the year two-thousand twelve,
There will be no SPAM.
- Kansas Tagai
214.
There are SPAM monsters.
In crypto-SPAMology,
The SPAMquatch is one.
- Kansas Tagai
215.
Jesus could walk on
water, but he could not eat
SPAM. Tough break, big guy.
- Kansas Tagai
216. (NOTE: read like movie trailer)
In the summer of
Two-thousand fifteen. SPAM will
Avenge the fallen
- Kansas Tagai
227.
Edward SPAMedict
The trumpet section leader
psh... give me a break!
- Mark Garcia-Prieto
233.
Over the pink hills
Flying on pigs and eating
Delicious SPAM clouds
- Nicholas Stearns
245.
Oh happy dagger!
for my love, incision make
into salty meat.
- Bryanna Chrisp
253.
“Dominant Sevenths
Resolve down,” CPP states.
But SPAM lifts me up.
- Stephen Fowler
259.
The passing six-four
Fills in a melodic third.
Yummy SPAM fills me.
- Jen Shedden
269.
SPAM in my mustache.
Pink fuzzies tickle my face.
I will not shave it.
- M. Heinemeyer & J. Di Donato
275.
SPAM the wonder meat
Oh, give me that salty treat
Like a cat in heat
- Author Unknown
276.
Ignorance struck me
When SPAM came up to greet me
I should have listened
- Christian Peñuelas
282.
Vienna Sausage
And SPAM shelter in mystic
Cryptic clear jelly
- Mr. Bruce Crocker
288.
Like a cadential
Six-four resolution, SPAM
Resolves in tummy.
- Frankii Tang
291.
SPAM is great for souls.
Maybe not for the body,
But the soul controls.
- Mark Garcia-Prieto
308. “Future Choir President”
“What shall we name her?”
The baby piglet looked square.
“She’ll be SPAMantha!”
- SPAM Stapish-Higa
311.
SPAM never-taster
Wonders of what soon awaits
Don’t make me vomit!
- Ofelia Sanchez & Marissa Sorensen
314.
Guitar-playing SPAM.
He plays as good as he tastes.
All his notes are bass.
- Ethan Monroy & Samuel Carrillo
316.
Little rose angel
Descending from the heavens
Presents me with SPAM
- Kelsey McHale
322. to 331.
“I’m Waving My SPAM in the Wind”
Rectangular Slab.
A tasty mesh of meat and…
Uhhh, what’s this made of?
Ingredients; Pork,
Steak, egg whites, turtle oil, and
Marrow, shark fins, salt.
Sushi; enough said.
Thin mints frozen; enough said.
Fried SPAM; enough said.
Beef Jerky is dry,
Chips are sharp and yogurt bland.
SPAM is king of snacks.
Hawai’i is peace.
Hawai’ian people love SPAM.
Eating SPAM is peace.
Your life is over.
You ascend with the angels.
They are eating SPAM.
Spears at the doorway,
Shrunken heads on the mantle,
SPAM on the table.
Huddled all around,
With a fresh killed SPAMtalope,
Lions fill their guts.
Words of the Shaman.:
“For all questions in your life,
SPAM is the answer.”
Nineteen-seventy,
Vietnam soldiers revolt.
They are out of SPAM.
- Author Unknown
379. “SPAM Prayer”
Thank you Jesus for
SPAM; bless those without. In your
name we pray. Amen.
- Sierra Bakomitros
393.
Stairway to heaven
A path that leads to sweet SPAM
A cloud of blue cans
- Anthony Sciacca
403.
Many people ask,
"How did you choose the SPAM life?"
SPAM life? It chose me.
- Tristan Zubiate
415.
S. P. A. M. means,
The Suspiciously Prepared
Animal Meat chunks
- Tristen Urban
440.
Have MAPS, dislike SPAM?
Children! Find SPAMcerity!
Ya need directions?
- Berenice Gonzalez
569.
Lizeth, Dom, Lizeth
PDA at SPAM party,
Inappropiate.
- Mr. David V. Montoya
580.
SPAM calls out to me
And loves me beyond my death.
Its hope brings me life.
- Michael Arnold
586.
Pigs flying to sun
Crisped like Icarus of old.
Not as good as SPAM.
- Mr. Bruce Crocker
598.
Eat SPAM at a dam
Jealous turbines pine and whine
Curse you now! Dam SPAM
- Mr. Jim Brewster
599.
A whale named SPAMoo
Flips and flops for great SPAM-ku
The crowd claps and snaps
- Brianna Goodlett
602.
Sulphates and sulphites
Nutritious and delicious
Tasty modern treat.
- Mr. Jesse D. Knowles
651.
What goes great with SPAM?
Harmonic Lettuce of course!
Oh my gosh, yum yum!
- Heriberto “Eddie” Hernandez
672.
It’s Albert Swinestein
Look at my theory of SPAM
E equals SPAM squared
- Thomas Potter
687.
SPAM diabetes.
Doctor forbids SPAM diet.
Good bye my left leg.
- Antonio Serrano
696.
Oh, heroic meat
Fighting crime - and hunger, too
Super SPAM saves lives!
- Mr. Tanner Wilson
700.
Anniversary
Ten heartfelt, delicious years.
Come, next decade, come.
- D. V. Montoya
701.
The SPAM-ku archive
leaves all mankind pondering. . .
Umm. . .Why is this here?
- Andrew S. Hernandez
702.
O flesh of delight,
how you smell when burned, pink, charred!
SPAM, you are so bold!
- Alexandra Barney-Loomis
738.
Best SPAM piece ever?
Beethoven’s 5th “SPAM-phony”
Ah, sweet, salty chords
- Cody Chavira & Joshua Melara
763.
Is that a weed drug
In my good Christian suburbs?
SPAM is much better.
- Alyssa Hastings Green
781.
As the grease sizzles
The SPAM will take its first breath
The aroma spreads
- Gillian Urban & Elizabeth Palomo
823.
Woe is you, my soul!
Damn you, cursed forsaken life!
Allergic to SPAM.
- Jaysson Yriarte
839. "Chinese Zodiac"
Two-oh-one-seven.
That's not the year of the SPAM!!
Ah! Two-oh-one-nine.
- Alan Pimentel (5-29-19)
[Alan wrote this in the year of the Pig, 2019,
to fill in a void in the 2017 archive. Brilliant.]
840. - 843 "Four-Part SPAMony for the La Habra High School Choir"
S
It is difficult,
Gristly chunk lodged in gullet,
To nail that high A.
A
She tries smoking it.
Seeking a huskier tone.
Squeals issue from maw.
T
We need more tenors.
David offers free SPAM snacks.
We've no more tenors..
B
Subsonic rumbles
From Chesnokov pedal point.
Pensive loaf quavers.
-- John Nagamichi Cho
[Graciously gifted from the S. H. A. M. himself to
Mr. Montoya and the La Habra High School Choir.]
845.
The SPAM-ku archive
leaves all mankind pondering. . .
Umm. . .Why is this here?
- Andrew S. Hernandez
846.
Twist, pull the sharp lid
Jerks and cuts me deeply, but
SPAM, aaah, my poultice
- Lucille Martinez
[poultice: a soft, moist mass of material, typically
of plant material or flour, applied to the body to relieve
soreness and inflammation and kept in place with cloth.]
857.
The texture of lungs
The SPAM breathes upon the grill
What a salty thrill
- Elizabeth Palomo
864.
Oh the sacrifice!
Charlotte’s Web must mean nothing?
No pig will see spring
866.
Sa Re Ga Ma Pa
Sa Ni Dha Pa Ma, hmmm no…
Sa Pa Ma? So close!
873.
So SPAM-a-licious!
With much glee is squealed, “OOOOEE”
Call me SPAM-kuku.
- Jessica King
875.
Trilobites are sad
Missed the opportunity
By billions of years
- Mr. Tom Nichols
886.
My wee childish brain
imagines Montoya in
a SPAM can zoot suit.
- Kaitlyn Tenorio
935.
Supreme Leader Snoke
skin color light pink, like SPAM
SPAM wars: Sprinch Strikes Back
- Alan Pimentel & Mark Halsig
958.
Stunning exhibit
World class art, from all eras.
Stunning taste, as well.
- Andrew S. Hernandez
[upon viewing a modern SPAM-themed artwork
hanging in the Los Angeles County Museum of Art]
963.
Party will go on
As scheduled. If you reveal
Yourself, you will pay!
- Mr. David V. Montoya
[upon finding the bongos and SPAM stash missing
notice the 1st letter of each line.]
967-970. "A SPAM-ku Party Ode"
Forgotten event
Now a salty tear runs down
No SPAM-ku party…
- Jessica Miller
And your earned invite
Lay sadly on the floor. Oh,
shame upon your house!
- Mr. David V. Montoya (response to No. 967)
Aw, no please forgive
For I mean no harm to the
Great festivities
- Jessica Miller (response to No. 968)
You and your eyebrows
Have been granted clemency
Farewell 'til next year?
- Mr. David V. Montoya (response to No. 969)
973.
After all this time
I finally have obtained
Sweet SPAMquility
- Justin Gabriel
1052.
Pig is eating SPAM.
“Honey, where are the children?”
Looks down at the plate.
- Nathan Campbell & Liam Forbes
1025.
Piggy eats pink SPAM.
It is made of him, you know.
He’s a SPAMnibal!
- Natalia Medina & Ariana Castrellon
1031.
New Starbucks sandwich
Organic, grass-fed, baked SPAM
On ciabatta bread
- Mr. Bruce Crocker
1033.
DC-9 cargo
Resupplies G.I. Island
SPAM tradition born
- Mr. Bruce Crocker
1036. “What Feeds You”
Music feeds your ears.
Colors to feed your eyeballs.
SPAM feeds your spirit.
- Paola Ureña
1051.
Big SPAM pimple pop
Pain is intolerable
SPAM grease flying out
- Nathan Campbell & Liam Forbes
1052.
Pig is eating SPAM.
“Honey, where are the children?”
Looks down at the plate.
- Nathan Campbell & Liam Forbes
1066. “Holy SPAM”
What’s this sacred meat?!
Pink, slimy, greasy, divine
“God’s Guilty Pleasure.”
- Jessica King
1072. “Stormy Weather”
It’s a miracle!
The SPAM warehouse exploded!
Pink flakes, grease raindrops.
- Jessica King
1073. “On the First Day”
In the beginning
The earth was dark and empty
“Let there be SPAM-ku!”
- Jessica King
1077. "SPAM-ku in Absentia"
_ _ _ _ _
_ _ _ _ _ _ _
_ _ _ _ _
- Mr. David López Alemán
(NOTE: This SPAM-ku was to be a mockery of SPAM-ku since it was discovered
that Mr. López Alemán was in actuality a sprinch. It was written during, but NOT
read at, the party. He was thrown out, and the SPAM-ku was destroyed by fire.
This "SPAM-ku in Absentia" is left here to discourage other would-be sprinches
with the message that such behavior will NOT be tolerated.)
1078.
My unjustly ban
Will not deprive me of SPAM
Thus, I eat alone
- Mr. David López Alemán
(after being thrown out of SPAM-ku Party)
1079.
Coronavirus
Cannot stop the faithful ones
Who live for SPAM-ku.
- D. V. Montoya
1081.
Pandemic lockdown!
Covid-19 chaos! Pink
breakfast, lunch, dinner.
- Jessica King 4/27/20
1084.
Shoulder pork and ham
Cooking, I nod off to sleep.
Smoke! The SPAM’s on fire!
- Mr. Charles Welling
1087.
Rectangular walls
Painted bright pink, like canned meat:
The house that SPAM built!
- Mrs. Lorraine Joy Welling
(Inspired upon seeing a house painted bright pink! Looked like a block of SPAM!)
1090.
Under the oven
A forgotten slice of SPAM.
As good as ever.
- Mr. Tom Nichols
1101-1103. “SPAM-ku for Quarantine (Q-ku)”
Social distancing?
Slap a slab under each arm
No one will come near
Moat filled with Purell
Ramparts of toilet paper
Fortress of blue cans
Pink flecks on her mask
Betray to observant eyes
A vegan’s secret
- John Nagamichi Cho
1114.
Covid-19 halts
pork production. Chaos comes.
There is no more SPAM.
- Ms. Juhi Bansal
1116.
The SPAM rose above
Like a meaty messiah
And flavor rained down
- Eli Portugal
1117.
A time of distance
An era of quarantine
SPAMcerity lives
- Miles Chapman
1119.
Can you see the SPAM?
Down the slide it wants to go!
Slip, slippery slide.
- Kathryn “SPAMbley” Mobley
1127. “For Mr. Tom Nichols”
4 Spam cans in row
Sing the song of their people
4-part HAMony
- Mr. Bruce Crocker
1135. “Mystery Meat”
SPAM, an odd wonder
Diarrhea down under
I smell rotten meat.
- Angelina Gazzola
1138.
I saw a SPAM ad
On late night television.
It's coming, stay tuned ...
- Abigail Roberson
1140.
Cut, with symmetry
Bathed in heat, crackling skin
Scents of harmony
- Chris Soetadi
1146.
Cold SPAM against pan.
What is the coefficient
of friction between?
- Mr. Will Morse
1149.
SPAM is delicious
but teaching is forever.
We should combine them.
- Ms. Abbie Rosenthal,
LHHS Student Teacher, Spring 2021
1151.
“Lucy Ricardo vs. SPAM”
We wait for Lucy,
My patience yearning hourly.
SPAM waits for no one.
- Miles Chapman
1153.
Thou must love thy SPAM
"Let them eat SPAM!” cried David
Then the sprinches rose
- Perla Escareño
1164.
Sprinches will be gone
The SProphets will write and teach
The ways of SPAM-ku
1165.
Luca truly hates
SPAM-ku but I will accept
The SProdigal son
1167.
Ordained that I am
Ms. Rosenthal has said it
I am the SProphet
1168.
SPAMcerity says
I reside internally,
Love SPAM, why don’t you?
1171.
Eat! Yes! Eat more SPAM!
SPAM will guide your inner life.
Eat rose-colored love.
- W. A. Mathieu
1184.
Helicopter on
Mars. Can SPAM be far behind?
Red meat - red planet.
- Mr. Bruce Crocker
1186.
COVID is NOT SPAM
PAN-demic, NOT CAN-demic
Vaccinate yourself!
- Mr. Bruce Crocker
1195.
SPAM is infectious.
It is a SPAM-demic haze.
I'm like, “Covid who?”
- Perla Escareño
1199.
Fifteen years gone by
Connected through SPAM always
SPrincess and the S.H.A.M.
- Mr. Montoya & Sam Stapish, 4/19/21
1204.
to Luca Martinez Flores
(no hyphen)
Philosophize the
way of SPAM sincerity
and you will be changed.
- D. V. Montoya, 5-3-21
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